no door for the doorknob

Maybe it's all wrong. Maybe everything that everyone tells you is right, is sensible, is logical..is wrong. For you, at least. Maybe the reason you feel so de-valued and taken for granted is because you have allowed yourself to be led into environments where you are constantly set up for failure..despite the soul-crushing hard work you put into proving your competence and worth in these environments. No one sees your hard work, not really. No one sees you shine there, least of all those people you are trying so hard to impress..and how could they? How could they do anything less than take you for granted when you DON"T BELONG THERE. These places, these values, these tedious tasks you are trying so hard to complete are not yours, are not really valued by you at all so it's no wonder you feel so empty and confused and trapped. No one is accepting you for you because you are not being you. Maybe you should quit trying to be "good" for people who do not even share the same ideas as you as to what "good" even is. Their good is your bad. Maybe you've been so focused on what you think you want, that you have overlooked the fact that you don't have to get what you want THIS WAY. Maybe it is too hard this way, and instead of working harder you should simply stop working and take a look at what happens. Will it just tank without all your work? Does anyone else help out? Do you really want to live a life where in order to keep things from sinking, it is all up to you and your constant struggle to keep your head afloat? Sure, it is good to stand up for yourself and everyone has to do that from time to time. But do you really want a life where you must constantly stand up to the people who are closest to you time and time again to prevent them from pushing you out of your own life? Your own identity?
Maybe you should put it down and walk away.
Maybe if you do, everything will fall apart.
Maybe it needs to.