"I'm not going to pay alot for this muffler"

some fragment from a commercial long ago. Funny how the really important things stick with you. Must be some reason why this sentence has been running on a loop in my head all day. New philosophy. A way of saying You must change your life, you are never ready.
I will rally together the citizens of charred cities in some droopy convention center and force them to shout it with me:
I am
NOT
going to pay alot
for this
MUFFLER!

Thankyou. That will be 50 bucks and a handshake, please. Now go home.

Goodboy

Goodboy turned out to not be so good. Now he is Freddy Krueger, and in dreams I face him like Nancy and say things like:
No.
You are not real.
I don't believe in you.

" well they come and they go-
or is it just the little things that I miss?
Like this one wiggled it that way...
that one wiggled it this..."

going out for beer, made a promise, have a headache, would rather be in bed-
no matter.
7:45 and all's well.

Winter tears the dresses off her trees...

...and lets them burn bare, with a white fire.

Empty days fill my empty eyes with more and more empty. If I had a gas tank you could watch the needle sink. Rain and gray pull the corners of my eyes and mouth down, and everywhere I leave scarlet puddles of sorrow on the floor. These days are sucking at me, too long........ so tired, I need a year of sundays to help me cope with monday. Boo hoo. Just give me a few nights of rest and guitar and paint-splattered pants- days not leaving my house- days I don't have to even bother to put on underwear. Too much to do now, slipping up.
This week:
-a series of false fumblings
-lists dropping from pockets
-A frantic escape to Olympia to hide in an armpit of turkey and cozy family love
-met a puppy
-tried to offer my heart to someone who asked for it, but only pulled shards of porcelain out of the box. I always forget about the breaking...