"Sometimes it's hard to tell the wishing from the well...

...where you threw the penny and where it fell"

Pissy today. Even though work was good. If I were 11 and back on the playground I'd call this "Opposite Day", because such a contradictive existence begs for some sort of explanation declaration. The dead are too real..chattering into my ears incessantly..while I am in turn being haunted by those ghosts that are still apparently living. Leaving me voicemails. Confused spirits that sift through my memory for answers I do not have.
Today I thought I saw a glossy black raven perched in a twisty tree..turned out to just be a torn garbage bag. Why am I always seeing things wrong?

"I used to be the tight one..
a perfect fit.
Funny how those compliments
can make you feel so full of it.."

Last night I went to the slam..felt so apathetic..didn't feel like reading SHIT. Spent most of it talking to my friend in the bar. Deflated about words. Oh my precious fucking words...look at me..I have big important crap to say...
Like Lazarus, come from the dead
come back to tell you all
I shall tell you ALL..

"I used to be the bright one
..sharp as a tack.
Funny how skipping years ahead
has held me back."

Well..
2 boys make a party
3 boys make a war
4 boys make an opera
and 5 just make you sore
Each one is so different, yet you remain the same.
A lonely girl with memories, who's not too good with names.

I am so full of goddamn song lyrics I could explode..like a pulsing sci-fi egg sack..all my little witty spiders..my tiny minions..

" I can take a vow
and I can wear a ring
and I can make you promises..
but they
won't
mean
a
thing"


I want something tangible, a real conversation not laced with a testosterone agenda, I want to have someone that I can look straight in the eye and spill my secret plans.

Ah. let me alone you breathing, phone-dialing ghosts.
I'm laying with my comrades in the cemetary tonight.